Dear Paula Deen

If anyone who doesn't know who Paula Deen is, she is a cook on Food Network. Paula Deen is a sweet old lady from the South. These are my letters to Paula Deen.

Dear Paula Deen,
        You make me want to move to the Southern United States. I mean, is everyone there really as hospitable as you make them sound? I hope so, because no one here gives food to new neighbors.
                                                                                                             ---Preet


Dear Paula Deen,
        Today, when I was watching your show and you used several sticks of butter in one dish, I knew it was culinary heaven. Why aren't the other chefs like you?
                                                                                                          ----Preet

Dear Paula Deen,
        I love when you give food a gender. For example: "And then we gonna put him in the oven." It makes me feel like I really know my food as if they were a dear friend. I know we eat the food, but to degrade him/her by calling her/him an "it" is just too dehumanizing. I totally get where you're coming from. I try to use this same concept when I cook at home. I want to be polite to my food. Thanks for the lesson on proper manners. Clearly, the South upholds it's reputation of good etiquette.
                                                                                                           ----Preet

Dear Paula Deen,
         I love when you say "y'all." It makes me feel like your dear friend because it shows that you are not afraid of being too familiar. Also, I feel it is important for any one person to feel like they are really worth more than just one person and "y'all" clearly makes each one of us feel worthwhile.
                                                                                                          ----Preet

Dear Paula Deen,
         You got remarried when you were quite old. Way to show those woman haters that women can and will do whatever they want, whether society accepts it or not. I mean, sure, most people don't get married when they are reaching old age, but you took the initiative to be different. That's why you are my hero. You didn't need a husband to support you and make you successful. You empower women everywhere. Bless your heart!
                                                                                                      ----Preet

Dear Paula Deen,
        I love your kitchen. I'm not sure if it's just a studio kitchen or if it's your actual kitchen, but it's amazing. Come to think of it, I like your house too. Girl, you got good taste.
                                                                                                 ----Preet

Dear Paula Deen,
         Your image is strikingly similar to the Godmother from the Cinderella movies. Do you think that's why my subconscious knew you had to become my favorite chef? Was there some inception going on there? I'm enclosing pictures so you can see for yourself. Maybe this is why I always think of you as a grandmotherly type of person.

                                                                                                                         ---Preet