I think I'll go to the Temple tomorrow. I feel like God and I have some making up to do. I know it's petty and lame of me, but I think my mind set right now is "OMG (quite literally). Why would you (God) let my life get like this? What happened? Why are you doing this?" Yes, I don't think this is the way I should be feeling. Last time I went to the Temple in San Jose, I felt so disconnected. I think my mom noticed my stepping away from everything spiritual and called me up last week. She literally asked me if I blamed God for everything that went wrong this year. I thought about it. OK. I know. This is not easy for me to say. I mean, it's okay to say "Oh. I know it's for the best," but really, I was just hurt. So, to tell you the truth, I don't know if I blame God. Thus, I'm going to go to the Gurdwara in Stockton and hope to make my peace with God. I'm being selfish. Yes, I know. I don't need more preaching, but I can't help how I'm feeling. I'm hoping that by going to the Temple, I'll kind of understand what's going on in my head right now, because I sure as hell don't know.
God, please help me understand what's going on with me right now. I'm not trying to be a bad person. I just don't feel like being good anymore.
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