Finals...and Odd Tangents

Finals are just around the corner. Literally. Next week. Death week. Hell week. The week I find out if I'm a complete failure. The week I find out if I have to repeat this year. And, to top it off, next week is also the week that my mother is getting her eye surgery, and because I'm having finals, I won't be there to take care of her. I feel like such a useless child. I mean, seriously, the one freakin time my mother needs me to take care of her, and I can't because I'm stuck in Stockton taking finals!!! Grrr! The frustration!

I love being in school, but sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on so much of my life by being secluded here. I want to start helping my family out with everything already (Do you realize how long it will take for me to repay them for everything they've done for me these past 21 years? I need to start repayment plans ASAP. See, loans aren't the only thing that you have to repay once you get out of school. You also have an obligation to help out your parents and siblings in any way possible. My parents are constantly reminding me of this like they think I'm going to graduate from pharmacy school, pack my bags and leave them by themselves on a deserted road like in some old Western movie. Wow, just realized this took a weird tangent. Back to finals...)

I am super freaked out about biochemistry final (see, old post where I cried myself silly over my failing midterm grade). I don't want to have to repeat that experience. I am currently calmly sitting and listening to recordings of the lecture (well, I was before I started blogging) but inside I'm freaking out like none other. God, please help me. I know I sometimes only pray when I need stuff, but you have to believe me, I'm not trying to be selfish on purpose, it's just that sometimes I get so busy I don't have time to go to Temple or anything. That's not a legitimate excuse, is it? I mean, if I have time to do other things I should have time for going to the Temple. Oh darn, I'm going off on a tangent again...

Let's see... what else has been going on lately? It's raining outside. Yay rain! Stockton is actually very nice when it's raining and overcast. I have a nice little view of the Calaveras River from my window. I mean, I could possibly write some English literature about how nature is so beautiful in suffocating detail, but I have finals to study for, so toodles!